The world as we know it will forever be changed after this Saturday, February 14th 2015. What you previously thought was just another commercialized, anxiety-riddled Valentine’s Day will be anything but. Come Sunday, February 15th we will all be living in a Post-FSOG Movie world. Cities will fall! Homes will burn! Our eyes will bleed! Churches everywhere will implode from the atrocities running rampant in our streets! Oh wait. That’s what happened when Magic Mike came out. My bad.
Anywho, Millions of Moms, Aunts, Sisters, Daughters, Grandmas, and Baby-mamas – all flooding the theatres, dragging their male cohort behind them – knowing he’s cursed to spend Valentine’s Day amidst a packed house of hormonal, over zealous women. Only to discover his wife or girlfriend secretly wants him to have a torture room; clad with hanging apparatuses and devices to inflict copious amounts of pain. He will forever carry the burden of being “Not-Christian Gray”.
Fear not men of the world! Do not run to your local farmer’s hardware in search of leather apparatuses (Because that’s where you get those things right?). Do not spend the rest of your days frozen from the fear of never living up the ideal psychopath your wife yearns for! While you’re googling ‘wa-wa balls’, the religious masses will be gathering in prayer groups – asking forgiveness on behalf of the sinners and vagrants who soil their virgin hearts watching (and liking) porn on the big screen.
With the uproar surrounding FSOG, it’s hard to remember one small fact. IT’S FICTION. A STORY. A TALL TALE. A love story (of sorts) conjured up from one woman’s mind – put to paper and embraced by millions. BDSM exists in the world today. There are rules. There are conversations had around feeling safe and trusting your partner. Those involved in it know that and are comfortable with it. It makes them happy. Those that are not involved in it but want to experiment with their partners – by all means! Have at it! Buy an apparatus and have coitus until you both pass out from exhaustion or you fall out of said apparatus and hit your head on the bedpost! This is America – we have the freedom to do whatever we want in the bedroom!
Did I read FSOG? Kind of. I made it approximately halfway through before Ana began to grate my nerves. But that’s my opinion. I have other friends who ate the books up and couldn’t get enough! That’s the beauty of the book industry – we all have our preferences, our likes, our dislikes… Sometimes we enjoy a book, sometimes we want to hurl it into the air so hard it disrupts the space-time continuum. Some books are ‘discovered’ by the powers that be and are made into movies for the rest of the world to see or boycott or criticize or cosplay. That’s the beauty of it, don’t you see? No book is perfect. No story is perfect. No author is perfect. And a movie as out of the box as FSOG is sure to hit a few buttons and cause a couple millions debates on social medias and in your grandmother’s bridge group.
Whether or not you go to see FSOG in the theaters or not, you can’t help but see the impact one author’s story has had on the world. Books are written to provoke. They are written to provide a change of course for one person. An entire town. A country. And sometimes the world. That is the power behind the written word and that is what makes them all works of art.